Church...

So I went into the old Lutheran Church today. Holy shit; you wanna talk about negative energy? I thought it was bad in the common room, but once I entered the congregation room, or whatever you wanna call it (for all the ceremonial b.s.), I could practically smell the negativity in there. I felt the room; I could hear what it was saying to. It didn't want me in there, and I could feel myself becoming incredibly insecure. It stunk like hell in there. I think it began to affect my performance overall today. That, and... the sun? For some reason, I've always hated the sunlight (but loved the sun, the embodiment of the God). I love cloudy days, and I feel more allive during those days. I hope that I'm not actually... Ah; never mind. Probably just my imagination. I see you all in a bit.

Blessed Yule

Yes. Have a happy and joyeous Yule, everyone.
I was planning on staying up all night to do a candlelight vigil. Or, I would, if I had a candle. I tried to get one, but it was to no avail. I'll just pray to the Goddess and be happy with that.
In other news, the Innocence Gone Website is now up. In a short while, we will be showcasing the webcomic, and I hope you all enjoy it.
I'm gonna jet; I'm tired and bored. See ya later.

Best Christmas Present ever.

I don't believe it. I tell my friend about my problems with my website and how I have no money to host it, and all of a sudden, poof. He gives my 60 bucks as a Christmas present. Holy dogshit; I'd be lucky if I got 60 bucks in a week working at my job since I get shit hours there, so this was really a surprise to me. This going to help a LOT. The website may be up sooner than I thought. Oh hell; fuck PC. Merry Christmas to all! I'm feeling so giddy and silly. This was truely a gift to remember. Now all I have to do is break the news to my mother who will undoubtedly flip a shit once she hears that I was given 60 by a good friend (she'll think I borrowed it, and proving her wrong will probably be as hard as proving Wicca isn't a cult). *sigh* Sometimes I love my mother.
>_>
<_<
-_-
Someone shoot me.

Hell. Yeah

Remeber how I said my friend was going to come over and do some conceptual work for me? We're taking it to the next level, and are going to publish a webcomic! He does the art, and I maintain the site. I can't frickin' wait. This is going to be so damn cool. Now then. Please excuse me while I skip away in happiness.

It's all good in the hood.

I talked to Justin about me blowing him off, and he said he was cool with it, and he kinda just acted like it never happened. I doubt I'll ever figure him out. Oh well; this is the second day in a row that we've been doing conceptual drawings or a graphic novel, and it's going quite well. Once they're done, I'll link everybody who's reading up. They're very kick ass.

I'm such an ass.

I told my friend justin that I'd chill with him tonight, then all of a sudden, Brandon comes over and says to come over. I forgot I made prior obligations with him first, and kinda invited Justin over. So I had to go back online a bit, and tell him what happened. He seemed pretty pissed. I feel like such a douche bag. I hope that Me and him can clear things up.
I didn't know what else to post about.

So... Yeah.

Apparently, I accidentally slipped a "swear word" into my guitar report or something to that effect. I dunno if it's true or not, but I'll accept the detention I got for Tuesfay, unless I can reason with my teacher. Don't get me wrong; he's a good guy, and a great teacher. But still; if I can weasel my way out of it, I will. And I'm not telling my parents, becasue the less known about this the better. I'm already in deep shit for not doing well in my progress report, which isn't indictive of the final grade at all. Yes, mother; I'm failing one subject in the middle of the second marking period for the time being (not anymore; brought it up to an 80 today; fuck you, mom), therefore, don't go through the time and trouble of ordering a cap and gown for graduation. Dumbass. Meh I got nothing else. I'm out.

Been a While

Yeah. My weekend was pretty packed, so I didn't get a chance to post. Friday was cool. I went to my friends house, played ping pong, scattergories with the guys, and what not. Saturday I hung out with my girlfriend and some of my friends. I'm rather glad that she likes my friends; I thought she'd hate the,, I dunno why. We put our (choose one) Christmas/Holiday/Yule tree up on Sunday. It's roughly 17 feet tall. We have a catherdral ceiling, so we can have trees that big. I'm finally back to work today. Even though I hate my job. I'm gonna quit and get something better soon, I really despise that place. Oh well. I'm bored now. I'll type later.

Starcraft: Brood War Chapter 1

This is a little literary piece I concocted based upon the game of Starcraft: Brood War. ME and a friend are having a fan-fic battle. I think I won.

Chapter 1

"Bullshit." That was the only word that contiuosly ran through his mind. "Bullshit! This whole damn mission was bullshit!" It was dark. The solar body was blotted out by clouds of volcanic dust and smoke, and the only light came from the constantly erupting volcanos, and the lights from the Marines' suits. Sound filled the air. The sound of explosions, of death, of gunshots, and of the Zerg. Sombody yelled, "Henderson! Give it up! We were never meant to survive this mission!" Henderson, the marine whose mind was filled with bullshit only stared away from the trench which his back was facing. Survival had become his only driving force. The screams of the dog-like Zerglings echoed through the darkness, and penetrated his ears. Instinct kicked in, and he ran town the trench, away from the screeching as far as he could get. Stopping inside the crevace, he turned around to see the red, gleaming eyes. Automatically, without thinking, he squeezed the trigger of his Gauss Rifle, and tried as he could to see through the soot and smoke, and make sure the rounds he was firing were penetrating the insectoids' carapaces. Only a few seconds of firing ensued, before the ammunition meter on his gun blinked at zero, and the Zerglings remained unscathed and growling with anger. Henderson had lost all his hope for survival as he stared at his dry gun. Without a word of warning, though, a loud booming sound erupted from behind the Marine, as a rocket propelled grenade flew past his head, and destroyed one of the Zerglings, spewing its innards across the sides of the canyon. Another round was fired from behind him, and the second Zergling was waxed as well. Seeing as how the threat was now over for the time being, Henderson turned around to see a Marine sitting on the ground against a wall, rocking back and forth, with his visor up. He was an old black man with glasses and a beard. In his teeth was clenched a cigarette. He didn't look at Henderson at all. He just stared into nothing, and continued to rock back and forth, knowing that his time was almost up. "Who's in charge here?" shouted Henderson, hoping to get a response from the old man. The old Marine turned his head to look at him, then went back to his rocking. Henderson decided to try again. "Where is the air support?" The only response he got was the man just pointing up to the sky. As Henderson looked up, he made out what the Marine was motioning to: a Behemoth Class Battlecruiser that lumbered overhead, not one thousand feet above ground. The spotlights of the ship switched on at that moment, and seemed to gaze around to spy on the destruction.

* * *

The ship was silent inside, and very contemporary looking in the hull. A blatent contrast from the devestation on the surface of the volitile planet. There were a few wooden tables and soft, plushy chairs. An old clock sat on one of the tables, and its hands ticked away, like a metronome, like it was counting down to something. A tall, slim, grey haired man stood at the main window overlooking the carnage. This man was Admiral Gerard DuGalle, the head and founder of the United Earth Directorate, or UED. He was in his mid sixties, and had a long, slender, aged face, and cold, grey eyes. His thin lips curved into a frown, as he stared out the window. "Alexi, come. Witness this... this carnage." He motioned towards another man in the room, without averting his gaze. This other man was Vice Admiral Alexi Stukov, advisor and close friend to the Admiral. He was shorter than the Admral, and had a full, grey beard and an admiral's cap on. He was strong, and his body showed that he obviously exercized quite a bit. The Vice Admiral pulled out a cigar from his front shirt pocket, and lit it with a lighter on the table. As he puffed it, he replyed to his superior with a heavy Russian accent. "Can it wait, Gerard? You're interrupting me from my... duties." Gerard smiled, as he expected this response. "You're vodka can wait, Alexi. You need to see this." Alexi sighed with impatience. "I know all about the Zerg, Gerard. We've seen the tapes a thousand-" Gerard cut him off mid-sentence as the Vice admiral was walking toward the window. "You've seen nothing!" DuGalle shot back, startling Alexi enough for him to drop his cigar on the floor. "Dissecting a dead Zerg in a lab is one thing, but unleashing them upon men is another", he said with angst and emotion. The Vice Admiral looked down out of discouragement. Gerard continued his speech, and focused on Alexi. "You must go into this with both eyes open, Alexi. Once you start, you cannot go back." His eyes narrowed to slits, and his stare pierced through his friend's very soul. "Are you prepared to go all the way with this, Alexi?" Alexi looked down again, and stepped on the cigar on the floor to put it out. He took out another one and lit it. As he puffed it, he said very quietly, but distictly, "Yes. Yes, I am prepared to go all the way." The Admiral was pleased. He smiled, and patted his friend on the back. "Excellent! I knew I could count on you! Come, let us celebrate the ushering of a new age." With that, he walked away from the window, Alexi following suit. "Take us into orbit, Mr. Jenssen." Gerard spoke into his radio to the Navigator as he left the room.

* * *

"What the hell?" Henderson thought to himself, as he watched the hulking cruiser turn and lumber off into the clouds of the higher altitudes and disappear. He continued to stare upwards, showing no emotion, no fear, no shock. He just stood there, deserted. Above the trench, the Zerglings massed, and swarmed. They prepared to feast on the flesh of humans once more, as they charged into the crevace. Henderson smiled, as his world fell apart all around him

Holy SHIT! Ragnarok Online is FUN!

I thought the game looked a bit gimmicky, but today, I downloaded the 1GB (!) game and started playing, and holy crap on a stick, this is fun. I'm going try to ask my parents for a 6 month subscription for Christmas. It's free for the first 15 days. For you uneducated heathens, RO is a MMORPG loosely based around Norse mythology. It's an action RPG filled with various monsters, weapons, towns, items, spells, and job classes. I'm at level 12 right now, and I'm tring to become a Swordsman. It's going kinda slowly. Oh well. I'm enjoying myself. Go out and download this game. It's good, slime-killing fun.

Gods Dammit....

.....I caved in. There's something about maternal love that I just can't deny. I'm gonna try and apologize to my loving, bitch of a mother. Wish me luck.
(Yeah; this probably wasn't post-worthy, but whatever)

Based on Actual Events

Mother: (10 minutes after i start fiddling with the computer) Why do you do this everyday?
Me: Do what?
Mother: You're either on the messageboards, or on Instant Messenger, or playing a game!
Me: I'm actually trying to do schoolwork, but, uh, sure.
Mother (now flustered): Well, I don't ever see you doing anything. (looks around and stops talking)
Me (gets up): I have to get something, alright?
Mother: Where are you going!? I'm still talking to you!
Me: I thought you were done, so I just told you I'm going to get something.
Mother: You are RUDE! You expect me to bend over backwards for you when you never treat me nicely!?
Me (thinking: Did you hear anything I just said to you?): It's not like I'm not coming back; I thought you were done talking!
Mother storms out in an angry fit 'cause she's a dumb fucking bitch. I'm pissed; I'm out.

My Weekend Pwned.

Friday: My friend Bryan came over, and we played around on the computer a bit. Around 6 o'clock, I talked to Justin Hall, and we went to the mall. I got all my Christmas shopping done with spending limit of 60 bucks. Also, I bought Mondo. I haven't seen Mondo on the shelves since 1996. It was one of those sucrose-laden drinks that came in the sqeeze bottles. Total throwback moment. Then the mall closed, and we were stuck inside, but then we managed to escape, via a side exit. We then went over to Kmart, since Boscov's was closed, and bought my mom's gift. Taco Bell came next with the 4 dollars I had left, and I got some 7 Layer Burritos. Went home at 11, and then Bryan came back over around midnight. We played some Smash Bros. Melee, and he stayed over night.
Saturday: Bryan left at 11 AM, and that's when my girlfriend showed up and took me to her school play. It was pretty awesome. Like, 5 mini-plays all crammed together. Cast party after the show was great fun. A kid named Ryan has all these parties after school events, and shee-yit, is he rich. Huge fuckin' house, lotsa food, cool friends who all liked me, thankfully, and some sweet movies. It was about 7 hours long, so there was plenty to do. My girlfriend drove me home after the party, then I watched Adult Swim at home all night long.
Sunday: Decorating the house is always fun. So is decorating my grandmother's tree, and ordering pizza at the same time. That's about it for Sunday. Yeah; I'm pretty spectacular.

Realization Time

"Deck the halls with boughs of Holly..." -Most probably refers to the Wiccan mythos of the battle with the Holly King and the Oak King.
"Tis the season to be jolly..." -Speaks for itself.
"Don we now our gay apparal..." -Probably refers to the robes Pagans wore during Yule Rituals to heighten flow of positive energies, promoting happiness.
"Troll, the ancient Yuletide Carol..." -I don't know where the fuck this came from.
"See the blazing Yule before us..." -Obviously, the Yule Log.
"Strike the harp and join the chorus..." Probably refers to Pagan carols sung during Yule, and played with instruments... like harps.
"Follow me in merry measure... While I tell a Yuletide treasure..." -Most probably refers to the telling of Pagan myths in verse (hence the "merry measure").
Ah, Christmas. Another way that Christians prove us right.

So I proposed the idea of Yule decorations to my mother...

Can't say it went over well. She's an anti Wiccan, but thank Gods she keeps her damn mouth shut most of the time, unless I bring up the fact that I want some fucking equality. I say, if there's gonna be a manger with baby Jesus in it, I want some damn holly and oak wreaths up, at least. I was thinking about asking her for the 21st of December off from school, but seeing as how she'd probably eat my liver if I asked, I'll just do my all night Candlelight Vigil without telling her, tehn feighn sick the next day. Whatever. I need to burn off some steam, so I'm going to the mall with my friend to buy Christmas presents now.

Volleyball Sucks.

Yeah. I was broken off of meditation this morning before the faggotty volleyball game in gym. thusly, my energy went out of whack, and my game sucked. Sucked on fire. I missed the ball, had bad serves, and I felt like a moron. Oh well. Volleyball sucks anyway. Why can't we play something easy and fun? Like golf? Or croquet? Or mumbly-peg? I tell you, I hate that sport as much as I hate Pat Robertson, and I do, truely hate that sonofabitch. So much that I wish he'd spontaneously combust. A man can dream, though; a man can dream. If I have to play the sport one more time, I'm going to have to bring fiery, burning pain on something. Speaking of fiery burning pain, I managed to get through the demo of Half Life 2, through setting fire to zombies using a combination Gravity Gun and flammable gas tanks. Always fun.

I'm Makin' a List and Checking it Twice...

This list, that is. These people make my blood boil. After reading half the quotes, I felt like punching my moniter. "Christian" my ass. These people aren't any more Christian than rocks. Furthermore, rocks are less a abrasive. Oh well. You be the judge. I'm expecting lotsa comments from this one...

I Hate Super Smash Bros. Melee

After seeing my friend rip and slash his way through 3 level 9 computers using Ganondorf, I thought, "Hey; I'm pretty good. I can probably take down at least two of them againstme as Link." Oh, how wrong I was. Against Bowser and Donkey King, I got my ass handed to me every time. I am so over that game. It gives me more stress that whatcan be considered healthy. I just had to get this out. I'm still feeling pissed.

Magickal Experiences

Alright. Well, I remember them pretty fondly. The first time I tried a spell was my dad's hip was hurting after his operation. After Centering(1), Grounding(2), and casting a circle (3), I said a few words, visualized things, then lit the candle, and let it burn all day long. After Deconstructing(4) and ungrounding(5), I could almost feel the energy in the room. The next day, my dad felt so great, he put in a new front door, much to my mother's chagrin. The other time when I did something magickal (I think >_>) was at Thanksgiving. I centered and grounded at the table, unbeknownst to anyone, and sensed the energy of a lit candle at the table, and focused on it. The candle started dancing on the wick after I visualized it dancing in my mind. My concentration broke when I was asked to clean the table. So, yeah. To say that I believe in Magick is an understatement. I practiced it before, and I can safely say that I most definately believe in it.

*1: Centering: Finding peace and tranquility, thus maximising your cconnection to the Spiritual Plane.
*2: Grounding: Visualizing yourself connecting to the Earth or the Sky, or in some cases the Moon (in which case, it is known as Drawing Down the Moon), and absorbing and sharing energy with whatever plane you grounded with.
*3: Casting a Circle: Forming a circle with your hands or a magickal tool, by turning 3 times in a clockwise motion, to create a "shell" of energy for you to work in. Inside that "shell", you should be oblivious to all but your work.
*4: Deconstructing: After the ritual or spellis complete, turning 3 times counter-clockwise to unmake the circle you cast, without excess energy being released.
*5: Ungrounding: Severing your connection to the Earth, sky, or moon by giving back, and thus, equalizing energy between you and whatever plane you connected with.

Chef Boyardee is the Shit.

Admit it. Sometimes, when you feel like crap, a nice can of warm ravioli is all you need for a pick me up, and it tastes great too. I'm eating it right now, and I can safely say that, aside from the cut on the inside of my lip, I am incredibly content. That and a bottle of Canada Dry Ginger Ale? Oh, you can't beat it. Almost December, and you know what that means... Snow, cold, ice, etc. A perfect time to warm up to some Chef Boyardee Overstuffed Ravioli. Go out and buy some, and eat it. Right now.

I Hate Stuff, Part One

-People who think the XBOX360 is the best invention ever, just because of a new way to play Madden. Again.
-Ignorant people who can't grasp what alignment my religion is, and the fact that my Gods are not manifestations of Satan.
-Lil' Milk. It tastes like shit. White, disgusting shit.
-Starcraft, and my inablility to win at it. The computer sends 12 zerglings 2 moinutes into the game and rush me, OR they bide their time, while I'm making a defense waiting for the Zerg rush that never comes, and they whip out a million Hydralisks and totally wreck my Siege Tanks.
-Banette. That little fucker has such low defense that it kills itself in about 2 turns from Swaggered confusion. But I need a Ghost Pokemon, and I can't find a Dusklops. Oh well.
-The GBA Micro. It's small enough to hide in the vagina that you will grow if you buy the little thing, you Nintendo whore.
-Ball Mice. I'm tired of dismantling the fucking thing and digging out the shit on the rollers that shouldn't be there in the first place. But they are, because my mom's too stupid to but a fiber-optic mouse in the last quarter of 2005.
-Loud people on public transpotation. I just asked for a 2 hour train ride to Boston; not an eternal damnation to hell... provided it exists.
-Sonicwall. I can understand blocking the porn and marijuana sites, but blocking Wiccan and Pagan sites was just too much. I forced my maternal caretaker to disengage the Internet blocker, and allow myself to learn more about my religion. Bitch.
-Java Class. Ok, I didn't hate it, mainly because I played Counterstrike and Unreal Tournament all 1st period last year. But the only reason I played those games was because the work was too damn hard. Failed with a 63. Who fucking cares. It's Java; it's crap. I'll take Visual basic any day.
-iTunes. Holy dog shit; talk about hard to use. Can't hold a flag to Winamp; that's all I can say. Fuck you, Apple.

Religion: Part 1

this is part one of my religious section. in my religios sect of this online diary, i will attempt to bolster my faith, and explain to others why i haven't chosen the path of jesus, or judeism, or whatever, since, apparently, it has cause some tensions with people that i've known. on the other hand, though, thanks to my religion, i have been graced with many wonderful things: newfound faith in the world, a reason to live, my wonderful girlfriend, and a slew of other neopagan friends that i've made recently. at first, i was a bit blinded by my religion, and was almost arrogant about it, and for that, i apologize to anyone that i may have offended. now that i have an extensive knowledge of the eclectic wicca, i have become far more tolerant than i was in my past life, no longer being lustful and gregarious. still, no matter how i try to state the fact that my religion is not harming anyone, i still get into debates (though many of them do not result in extreme chastizing) about why i think my religion is right, and others are not for me, though i do respect them, and most of those people don't seem to want to accept that i recognize that. anywho, this is part one of my religious debate posts, and here, i'll outline why i switched over and converted to wicca.
when i was about 12, my grandmother died, and shortly after that, my grandfather died, leaving me questioning my lutheran faith. after several months of answer seeking, i tossed away my spirituality, and became aetheist. i was a relatively hardcore aetheist, with a strict believe that there was no such thing as god(s). however, until about a year ago, i decided that it would be far too depressing to die, and then... nothing. so i did some soul seacrching to find a religion and hang on to what little shreds of sanityi had left. i didn't want to be a part of a religion that was too widespread, thusly having some degree of radicals ruining the image of that religion for the good people of that faith, so i chose a religion that is relatively underground: eclectic wicca. seeing as how covens are incredibly hard to find, i just stuck with being solitary and practicing by myself. after a year of study from websites and message boards, i decided to buy a book entitled "eclectic wicca for life". reading this book really opened my eyes to the magnitude and intesity that this religion has, and i felt a great sense of pride and responsiblility upon its completion. once i met my grilfriend, who was also neopagan as well, we went ot the local mall and i picked up a pentacle neclace, and i haven't taken it off since the day i bought it, which was over a month ago. when my mother caught sight of it, she jumped on the cult bandwagon, thinking i was part of an evil organization of satanists. she was basically basing her beliefs off of one incident over 50 years ago, when some radical neopagan teens marched on some college. my dad thought i was a werewolf. my dad's strange. well, now almost everone about my religion, and i'm not ashamed to admit what i am. however, once word got out in school, and my friends found out, my life was about to change.
stay tuned for part 2. coming whenever.

So the XBOX360 Came Out...

Big fucking deal. Same goddamned thing, only more expensive and prettier graphics, and less compatability. Same crap games repackaged, onlynow the characters sweat. Who fucking cares? I'm not spending 400 clams on a half assed piece of shit hardware that I wouldn't even use as a doorstop to play mediocre games. Thanks, Microsoft; I'll pass. I'm waiting for a Revolution. At least Nintendo is willing to take a fucking chance with creating something new that will potenitally change the way we play video games. That's why Nintendo rocks. And for all you people who think that Nintendo sucks: Choke yourselves.

1st Posting: The Opening

Welcome, welcome. First post. Might as well tell you about myself, to start things off...
First off, I will not reveal anything about my personal info (pictures, locations, etc), but I will tell you my interests. First off, I am Wiccan, and I will be posting a lot of stuff pertaining to my religion and the hardships and wonders it has brought me. Secondly, I hate Bush. Now that that's out of the way, we can get to the real meat of this ordeal. I like red meat. Rare filet mignons, or tenderloins, or BBQ ribs, but I just love meats. Not a big plant eater. I have two dogs, a big Yellow lab and a big Black lab, I love them dearly. I have a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend whom I'm madly in love with, and I'm sure she feels the same way. My parent's (my mom, to be more specific) suck, but so does every teen's. I love videogames and Anime. But this is all I have time to post about right now. I'm going to post often, and I hope that you'll chack back for updates.